Tales of Asgard
by alienyouthct
Summary: Loki has a cunning, cunning plan for her future. It would appear, though, that Amora is even more cunning. But is Loki willing to pay what Amora's requesting for her services? Lady Loki/Amora
1. Konungurskapari

Title: _Konungurskapari  
><em>Author: JoeHundredaire  
><span>Rating:<span> R/FR18  
><span>Disclaimer:<span> With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors - and directors, now that we're getting decent movie and television renditions - actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
><span>Summary:<span> Loki has a cunning, cunning plan for her future. It would appear, though, that Amora is even more cunning. But is Loki willing to pay what Amora's requesting for her services?  
><span>Joe's Note:<span> Considering trying to send physical gifts to people I mostly know online would be awkward and kinda weird, I decided to do fun little fanfic gifts this year. So I sent out a list of random quippy 'ship names to several friends - plus Lexi - and asked them to pick one. Some were probably common and easy to figure out, while others are a bit more exotic. I neither confirmed nor denied suspicions about who some of them might be until after they picked… and then wrote what they asked for.

* * *

><p>"So tell me, darling… what's it like to be a king without a crown?"<p>

Peering back over her shoulder, Loki Laufeyjarson eyed the blonde who had invaded her personal space for a moment before turning her attention back to the feast hall, leaning back into the slender arms now wrapped around her shoulders. "Surprisingly liberating. Whenever I want the power? It's right at my fingertips." Snapping said fingers, she formed one of the bracers from Odin's armor around her forearm, and then dispelled it just as quickly. "The rest of the time? 'The Allfather wishes to be alone in his chambers right now', and I'm… free. To be whoever I wish to be. No responsibilities or expectations. Why I didn't think of this decades ago, I have no idea."

Amora let out a throaty laugh at that, briefly drawing the attention of the revelers nearest to them. Much to Loki's amusement, though, the Asgardians soon returned to what they were doing. After all, the seiðkona's predilections were widely enough known that the sight of her draping herself all over a beautiful, curvaceous woman would be a surprise to few. If only they knew, Loki mused. "I'd blame it on you being male and therefore inherently foolish, but I've never been entirely certain of exactly what you are. Inside or out, for that matter."

"I am… born to rule. Everything else is secondary." It was an excellent deflection from a question that Loki herself didn't rightly know the answer to. While she had been raised as a male by Odin and Frigg… a prince of Asgard… Odin had also been under the impression that the warrior Odin had crossed swords with in Jötunheimr had been the infamous Laufey, leader of the jötnar. It hadn't been until Loki's journey to Jötunheimr as a part of her scheme to destroy it that she'd discovered that Odin had indeed fought her father… the frost giant Fárbauti. Fárbauti, husband of Laufey, who was the ruler of the realm.

That revelation had sparked a mental debate that Loki had been struggling with ever since. While she'd slipped between the two genders as needed in the past, she'd never felt any uncertainty as to which one was rightfully hers. Which was 'home'. After meeting Fárbauti and Laufey, though? It made her wonder… if Odin couldn't even tell the gender of his opponents apart, was it sensible to believe that he could sex a child of that species properly? And if he couldn't discern a child's gender properly, how could Odin be counted on to craft an appropriate face for Loki using his seiðr? Was Loki in fact male at the end of the day? Or was that just one more lie from a childhood rife with them?

A pair of teeth tugging gently on the shell of her right ear pulled Loki from her thoughts. "You know, I've been wondering ever since the Convergence… to what end?" Circling around, Amora slid into Loki's lap and met the dark-haired ásynja's gaze. "To what end is this little scheme? You can't possibly think that you'll fool all of Asgard forever. Or that 'Odin's grieving' will be able to last forever. What's your endgame here, Loki?"

"It's so simple that I imagine even my bro… even Thor could have thought of it." Leaning back in her seat, Loki smiled widely as she began ticking points off on her fingers. "First? I'm going to pardon myself. Or rather, Odin is going to pardon Loki Laufeyjardóttir." At Amora's questioning look, she shrugged. "I've actually gotten rather attached to this form in the past few months. After that, though… given that Thor has made it quite clear that he would rather remain on Midgard with his mortal friends and paramour than rule? Who else would Odin leave Hliðskjálf to when he passes on?"

Much to her surprise, Amora regarded her with the same sort of look that Loki usually reserved for when Thor said something impossibly stupid. "Váli? Tyr? Heimdallr? Sif? Me? Anyone other than the person who tried to commit genocide twice over?"

Loki frowned as she realized that her companion did in fact have a very valid point indeed. "Perhaps I should arrange some sort of suitably heroic return to the public eye? Allow myself to be recaptured afterward, then pardoned, then be named Odin's heir? No, trying to 'save' Odin from Fárbauti ended terribly for me. Fool me twice and all. Hmm." As Loki pondered that, Amora merely sat there placidly upon her lap, the blonde's arms looped around Loki's neck as she whistled an unknown tune softly. After nearly a minute, Loki began to feel as if she was missing something… which perhaps she was, given that she was in the company of the only Asgardian close to being as sneaky as she was. "Did you have an idea then, Amora?"

"Yes and no." Amora slid her hands forward to rest on Loki's shoulders before trailing them downward to the exposed tops of the brunette's breasts. As the blonde dipped the fingers of one hand into Loki's bountiful cleavage, the ásynja could feel seiðr being worked as her companion created something out of nothing. Therefore, Loki wasn't surprised in the least when Amora's formerly empty fingers emerged from between her breasts holding… a sprig of very familiar green leaves. The soft hiss it evoked made Amora's eyes light up. "I was wondering if you'd remember what it looked like. It hasn't grown here in my lifetime, after all. Ever since your… fun… with Höðr and Baldr."

'Fun'. An interesting euphemism for her part in the death of two of Odin and Frigg's sons. But while Loki hadn't seen mistilteinn in quite some time, that didn't mean she didn't remember it well. It was hard to forget something you'd used to kill a god, after all. The real question was… "Where did you get that? And what are you planning?"

"Midgard. Unlike you and Thor, some of us can manage to visit it without causing an interplanetary incident. According to the lovely young girl who sold me this, their planet is home to almost a thousand different species of 'mistletoe' and dozens of cultures have customs involving it." Raising her hand, Amora let the mistletoe dangle over Loki's head as she leaned forward slightly. "Would you like to hear about my favorite one?"

What this had to do with her plans for ruling Asgard, Loki had no idea. But since Amora was clearly going somewhere useful with this, or at least thought she was… "Do tell."

Amora waggled the mistletoe back and forth, drawing Loki's gaze upward to it. "Mortals hang this in their houses, usually in a doorway. If a young man catches a girl he fancies underneath it, he can request a kiss."

Ah. So that was her angle, then. Loki could still remember a nearly two decade long stretch a century or so ago, where Amora had done her best to catch the eye - and heart - of the presumptive heir to the throne. To call the whole thing embarrassing would have been exceptionally polite, as would saying it ended badly for Amora. And now that someone else was angling to ascend the throne in Thor's place, here she was, up to her old tricks again. There was one key difference between then and now, though: Loki and Amora actually liked each other. In a friendly sense if nothing more; they'd been close companions ever since Amora reached an age where tongues wouldn't wag about her being seen with Loki frequently. If not for Sigyn, perhaps they would have even become more than friends at some point.

That particular barrier was gone now, though. Evidently having one's husband convicted of treason was considered ample grounds for divorce in Asgard, and Sigyn had taken advantage of Loki's imprisonment to be rid of her once and for all. Loki sometimes found herself wondering what the true reason was, given that Sigyn had stood beside her through a wide variety of treasonous behavior in the past. Perhaps her antics on Midgard? The attempted genocide of the jötnar? Or maybe Sigyn was a bit like Amora, and hadn't been able to handle the demotion from 'wife of the prince' to 'wife of the traitorous jötunn'? Whatever the reason, she was gone now and that left Loki free to consider the offer before her.

Given that this whole phase of her life was about second chances and new beginnings? Loki found herself genuinely considering it. After all, they'd always had a certain level of respect and affection for each other, being a pair of seiðkonur in a world that glorified brawn over brains and swords over sorcery. Not to mention that Amora was one of the few people that Loki considered an intellectual equal, and the only one she found capable of matching her cunning. And then there was the fact that Amora was one of the - if not the - most beautiful women in all of Asgard. Loki had watched the blonde blossom over the years, to the point of eclipsing her own wife, but had stuck by Sigyn just as Sigyn had stuck by her. Now, though? They would look ridiculously beautiful together atop Hliðskjálf, Loki mused…

In the end, Loki decided… why not see where this took her? She stood to gain a lot from allying with Amora - intelligence, cunning, additional and varying magical knowledge, a second warm body for when Loki and Odin needed to appear simultaneously - with very little risk of loss. If the blonde overstepped her boundaries or went rogue on Loki? The young Vanaþegn was powerful and talented, but hardly a match for Loki herself. Hopefully that very knowledge would keep her from doing something ill-advised in the first place. After all, uxoricide was generally frowned upon even if one was the Queen of Asgard. Leaning her head back, Loki eyed the mistletoe for a few seconds before returning her gaze to Amora. "Well, it would appear you've caught the girl you fancy beneath your mistletoe. Are you going to request a kiss?"

"Why? After all, you're the one who'd rule in Odin's place with me beside you as your Frigg. Wouldn't that make you the young man in this situation, and me the girl he fancies?"

"…surely you jest. You don't seduce someone halfway and then demand they turn around and finish your job by seducing you. I thought you fancied yourself the 'Enchantress'? Shouldn't you know how this game works?"

"Oh, very well." Bespelling the mistletoe to hover in the air above them, Amora leaned forward and tenderly took Loki's face between her hands, drawing the brunette in to a slow and sensual kiss. When they parted, Amora gave Loki a second, more playful kiss on the tip of her nose before shooting a glance back over her shoulder. "As delightful as I usually find a noisy hall full of brutes indulging in mead and roast meat to be… perhaps this would be a good time to take our discussion somewhere a bit more private?"

Resting her hands on Amora's hips, Loki gently slid the blonde off her lap before rising to her feet. "If I'm going to be taken off somewhere private by Amora the Enchantress, I sincerely hope there will be more than just 'discussion' going on when we get there…"

Amora laughed as she invaded Loki's personal space again, pressing a series of small kisses up the taller woman's neck before whispering in your ear. "I think you'll discover that I can be quite the… cunning linguist."


	2. Hjálparhönd

Title: _Hjálparhönd  
><em>Author: JoeHundredaire  
><span>Rating:<span> R/FR18  
><span>Disclaimer:<span> With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors - and directors, now that we're getting decent movie and television renditions - actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
><span>Summary:<span> When Coulson and his team are attacked by Lorelei, Lady Sif - her longtime nemesis - steps in to try to save them. But she isn't the only one who descends from Asgard to deal with the situation…  
><span>Joe's Note:<span> An entire year has come and gone, and so it's time to bring you the sequel to Christmas 2013's _Konungurskapari_. Thankfully, Marvel's timeline for these events is pretty cut and dried: we see the aftermath of _The Dark World_ in one episode of _Agents of SHIELD_ and this story occurs during the events of another. Specifically S1E15, also known as 'Yes Men'.  
><span>Dedications &amp; Thanks:<span> To Nicholas, Alexander, Thomas, Koby, Wil, Tracy, Christopher, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on Patreon, and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

><p>"Lorelei's treachery remains unchanged, no matter the world."<p>

"We'll find them. Every agent in the area is out looking."

"To what end, hmm? The collar… has been broken! Short of death, we have no means to end her enchantment!"

Standing in the doorway of the strange, metallic room that Agent Coulson had led her fellow ásynja to, Loki Laufeyjardóttir found herself smirking as she watched the mighty 'Lady' Sif throw a temper tantrum. A simple reaction from a thoroughly simple woman, she thought as she shook her head sadly. Loki had watched as Lorelei and the one called 'Agent Ward' made their escape, not wanting to step in until Sif had well and truly failed at her mission. If she had been in Sif's place, though? Coulson and his team had been backed by a goodly number of SHIELD agents and a convoy of vehicles. How hard would it have been to give pursuit and follow Lorelei to her destination? Or Sif could have cut her loses and abandoned the mortals wallow in their defeat, taking advantage of her innate gift of teleportation to give chase on her own.

But what was done was done, and now they needed to decide how to proceed with the hunt for Lorelei. And by 'they', Loki meant 'her'. Coulson was content to follow Sif's lead, and clearly she wasn't adequate for the task at hand. Ending the enchantment that had allowed her and her companion to sneak aboard Coulson's airplane, Loki cleared her throat delicately. "I do believe the Allfather's precise instructions were to 'deal with the situation', Sif. Death would accomplish that nicely."

Coulson raised an eyebrow at their sudden appearance but otherwise failed to react, for which Loki had to commend the mortal. Sif, on the other hand, drew herself up with a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Because unlike you, Reginna, I see death for the quick release that it is. Lorelei deserves to suffer for the crimes she has committed and the people she has wrong. I will ensure that she does."

"And you're doing such a splendid job of that, too." Slipping past Loki and entering the room, Amora made her way over to the table and picked up the silencing collar, running her fingers over the surface gently. "Damaged, as you said. Nothing that cannot be undone by the smiths of Niðavellir, but by the time you journey from here to Asgard to there and then back… who knows what havoc my sister may have wreaked upon these poor, unsuspecting mortals?"

Even as Sif appeared to consider that - or more likely attempted to come up with a suitable counterargument - Coulson raised his right hand. "Hello. I'm Agent Coulson of SHIELD, and this is my airplane. Perhaps introductions are in order? And maybe an explanation as to why you want us to kill your sister?"

Ah yes, she had changed a bit since last time she'd seen the man, hadn't she? Loki smiled and bowed at the waist, her estimation of Coulson rising another notch as he managed to keep his eyes fixed firmly on her face despite the cut of her dress. "My apologies, Agent, Son of Coul. When you have lives as long as ours, sometimes you can become a bit too fixated on the big picture and lose sight of smaller details. I am Reginna, the Vǫlva." Personally, Loki was still amazed that nobody had seen through her - admittedly poorly - constructed alter ego yet. Especially given that her chosen pseudonym was nothing more than the word for 'ruler' in the old tongue with an additional 'a' tacked on to make it sound more properly feminine. "My companion is Amora, the Enchantress."

Amora offered a curtsy of her own before following up Loki's introduction with an answer to Coulson's question. "And I never said that I wanted you to kill my sister, Son of Coul. I would be perfectly willing to do so myself if the opportunity arose." Loki bit her lip to avoid laughing as Coulson's jaw dropped, clearly not having expected that response. "Like Reginna said, we favor the long view. Imprisoning Lorelei does nothing to end the threat she presents to the Nine Realms. It merely delays it."

"I will not be a party to-"

"You don't seem to care when it's a Marauder, Sif. Or a svartálfr. Or a jötunn, for that matter. Is it perhaps the fact that Vanaþegnar look like you that makes their murder harder for you to stomach?" Loki raised a slim black brow at Sif, waiting for a reply that the warrior woman seemed incapable of producing. Summoning Lævateinn from the subspace pocket where she normally kept it, Loki closed the distance between them before slamming the end of her staff down harshly against the floor between the two of them. Leaning in even closer, she lowered her voice. "In the end, I neither know nor care why you act the way that you do. I do know, however, that you will continue to hide behind how you see fit to interpret the Allfather's words… because you lack conviction. You cannot do what needs to be done for the good of all. And that is why we are here. Because we can."

A finger tapped gently on her shoulder, and Loki looked to her left… and down a bit; Coulson wasn't particularly large even for a Midgardian. "I've got an idea. Might be crazy, but hear me out. How about instead of arguing about who's going to do what to Lorelei when we catch her, we focus on finding her before she can do any more damage?" After a long pause, Loki nodded before storing her staff and turning away from Sif. "Now, I have no idea what being 'the Vǫlva' means, but I'm pretty sure that 'the Enchantress' means Amora is a sorceress like her sister. Is there a way that we can use magic to track down Lorelei?"

Amora looked to Loki in askance, waiting until she received a nod of permission before answering. "I can think of at least two. One would require several maps that I can work with, since I am unfamiliar with your realm. The other… I could guide the navigator of your craft to Lorelei by casting a homing spell. It would lead us straight to her, though, with no consideration for what might be in our way."

"Right. Let's start with the map and then assess how practical that second spell is based on where we find Lorelei. Can you use a digital map? I don't think we carry paper maps onboard anymore." Coulson waited for Amora to nod before turning to Sif. "Can you show her to the same computer we were using before, your ladyship?" Sif sighed and rolled her eyes, nodding before shoving her way past Loki and stalking out of the room. Amora snickered softly before following, but Loki was prevented from leaving by a hand wrapping around her wrist. "Not you. Not until we have a chance to talk, at least."

Doing her best to shake off Coulson's grip without injuring the man, Loki skirted around the table in the middle of the room and made her way over to sit on the edge of the bed. Leaning back, she rested her weight on her forearms as she stared up at the first Midgardian to make her feel true pain. Loki had to admit that she was more than a little curious about Coulson: not only did she distinctly remember stabbing him in the chest with the Chitauri scepter, but several of Frigg's handmaidens remembered seeing him around Fólkvangr for several days before disappearing. Now here Coulson was, faintly radiating a familiar - but quite unexpected - energy signature, just like the slender brunette mortal she'd passed while wandering about on the plane's lower level. "Do we now? About what, Son of Coul?"

Shrugging, Coulson took a seat on the near edge of the table before reaching back and picking up one of the small portable computers that Loki had been introduced to by Clint Barton and her other thralls but never taken the time to master. "Oh, you know, this and that. You see, from the moment I saw you, I thought you looked familiar. Which made me suspicious because I'd only met three Asgardians before today, and you weren't one of them. Then I realized that you looked a lot like Sif and I relaxed. Cousin? Sister? Fraternal twin, maybe? It explained that sense of familiarity. Granted you don't act like sisters, but even that was easy to write off considering Amora wants to kill Lorelei. Then you had to go and utter those three little words to SIf. Don't know if you thought I wouldn't hear it, or if you thought it'd be funny to mess with my head. Don't really care, to be honest. But tell me…" Turning the computer to face Loki, Coulson raised an eyebrow as a clip of Loki's male form being confronted by Fury aboard the helicarrier began to play. "…what does 'Real Power' want with Midgard this time?"

Loki found herself staring at Coulson for several seconds in disbelief, before finally giving in and throwing her head back as she laughed loudly. "Despite the fact that we were opponents last time we met, you impressed me then and you continue to do so now." Pausing, she conjured a mirror and eyed her reflection critically before meeting Coulson's gaze again. "Really? You believe I look like Sif? I don't see it."

"The lips. Your chin and jaw line. The nose. Same eye shape, even if they are a different color. You kept your cheekbones, though." Loki knew that her incredulity must be showing on her face by the way the corner of Coulson's mouth quirked upward. "You don't get to my level without learning a few things. So again… why are you here?"

"Shouldn't you be threatening me?"

"With what? I couldn't stop you when I had a weapon made from the remains of your Destroyer; from what I hear, it took the Hulk to finally bring you down in Manhattan. Seeing as how I'm short one Hulk at the moment… where does that leave me? I suppose I can break my fist on you. That might slow you down, if only because you'd be too busy laughing at me." Coulson nodded in the direction of the door. "Can tell Sif who you really are, and then watch my airplane get torn apart by a two-on-one battle between Asgardians. Or I can smile and nod until Amora finds her sister, and then send the three of you to deal with her."

Vanishing the mirror with a gentle pulse of eldritch energy, Loki sat up a bit straighter. "I see. And you would benefit from aiding me in my deceit… how, exactly? No favor comes without a price, after all, in your world or mine."

Coulson set the tablet down on the table and stood up, smoothing his hands down the front of his suit jacket several times before finally staring back down at Loki. "Simple. I'm going to let you do what you came here to do. And you're going to do it. I want Lorelei the hell off my planet, as soon as possible. And if you can do that for me, I'll do you the favor of letting Asgard continue to handle their own problems. Like the fact that someone who should be lying in the sands of Svartálfaheimr is apparently back from the dead."

Rising to her feet, Loki stretched languidly before chuckling as her right hand rose to rest in the middle of Coulson's chest. "Yes, there seems to be a lot of that going around these days, doesn't there?"

"Touché. Just out of curiosity… have you ever been to Tahiti?"

"Tahiti?"

"It's a magical place."


	3. Sigur Fagnað

Title: _Sigur Fagnað  
><em>Author: JoeHundredaire  
><span>Rating:<span> R/FR18  
><span>Disclaimer:<span> With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors - and directors, now that we're getting decent movie and television renditions - actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
><span>Summary:<span> They came, they saw, they conquered… and then they dragged Sif shopping.  
><span>Joe's Note:<span> …and we're getting an immediate follow-up on _Hjálparhönd_. Why? Mostly because I was intending to cover arrival, outing, and the resolution of the Lorelei situation all in one story, but then Loki and Coulson stole the show. So here's the, uh, other half of _Hjálparhönd_. After a fashion.  
><span>Dedications &amp; Thanks:<span> To Nicholas, Alexander, Thomas, Koby, Wil, Tracy, Christopher, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on Patreon, and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

><p>Standing calmly in the middle of the freight elevator as it ascended to the top floor of Caesars Palace, Agent Phil Coulson breathed in and out slowly as the SHIELD agents around him prepared for the coming battle. "This is going to be repetitive for a few of you ladies, but unfortunately our superiors thought I was joking when I requested an all-female team for this op and only a third of you were at the formal briefing. Our target is an Asgardian, goes by the name of 'Lorelei'. She has the ability to control men with her voice or touch, which has required us to shuffle our assets accordingly. Normally, a bunch of humans going up against an Asgardian would end with a pile of corpses. Luckily, we've got an Asgardian asset of our own. Lady Sif?"<p>

Sif drew herself up and cleared her throat, waiting until all eyes were on her before speaking. "I will provide your frontal assault. As the Son of Coul has noted, it would end… badly… for you if you attempted to handle Lorelei yourselves. If you can incapacitate any thralls she might have, though, I would be quite grateful." She paused for a second, grimaced, and then continued. "There are two other Asgardians on Midgard at the moment: a blonde who tends to wear green, and a woman who resembles me but prefers green and gold attire. They claim to be allies on my hunt; whether or not they truly are remains to be seen. If you encounter them, please do not attack them. If they are forced to act in self-defense, they may harm you in ways that your mortal medicine is incapable of repairing."

In other words, there was a chance that Amora or Loki… err, Reginna might retaliate with magic if forced to defend themselves, which wasn't exactly a type of injury that a SHIELD medical facility was equipped to handle. Or were they? Coulson brought his hand up to rub at his chest absently; SHIELD was apparently surprisingly capable at doing the impossible these days when it came to saving lives. Or restoring them. Shaking his head, he forced his mind back to the mission at hand. "As much as I want to be right up front with you, I'll need to stay back for obvious reasons. If it looks like Lorelei is making a grab for me, you have my permission to incapacitate me. We don't think she can enthrall someone who's unconscious. If she can? Well, at least I'll wake up restrained on the Bus where SHIELD can keep an eye on me. Any questions? No? Good. Because we're there."

Right on cue, the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, allowing the group to disembark. Sif quickly took the lead, stalking down the corridor at a pace that left the rest of them jogging to keep up. Lashing out with one leg, she took both doors off the hinges with an ease that impressed Coulson before striding into the room. May led the rest of the SHIELD contingent into the room in the Asgardian's wake, leaving Coulson to wait in the hall impatiently as they secured the suite.

"Clear."

"Clear."

"Back room's secure."

"Kitchen clear."

"Bedroom's cle-holy shit!" Oh, now that wasn't good. "Sir? I think it's safe to say that you can enter the room without worrying."

If it was safe for him to enter and yet they weren't reporting an all clear… well, Coulson had a pretty good idea of what he was going to find inside the suite. Drawing his gone all the same, he carefully stepped over the remains of the door as he made his way into the room. He came to an abrupt halt at the unexpected sight of Reginna standing in the middle of the living room, wearing nothing but a fluffy green towel as she used its twin to dry her long black hair. He raised an eyebrow, eliciting a shrug from the Asgardian. "I apologize for my state of undress, Son of Coul, but there was a bit more splatter than we thought there'd be."

Splatter? Turning toward the bedroom, Coulson slipped between two of the female agents who had accompanied him and then blanched. Lorelei's glassy eyes stared up at him from where she'd been dumped near the foot of the bed, her head facing in the completely wrong direction and the tip of some sort of blade protruding from her back as blood slowly oozed down her bare skin. God. What a way to go. And… hopefully the ladies knew some sort of magic that they could use to clean up after themselves, or else the housekeeping staff was going to be in for a nasty shock when they came by. "This wasn't the plan."

"You should consider yourself lucky that we decided to strike out on our own." Weaving her way between the now-uncertain agents as they milled around the suite, Amora wrapped her arms around Reginna from behind and rested her chin on the slightly shorter woman's shoulder. "When we arrived nearly half an hour ago, Lorelei and your agent were almost finished with their packing. If we'd waited for you mortals to be ready, who knows where they'd be by now?"

While Amora did indeed have a valid point… Coulson honestly wasn't sure where to go from there. No, that was pretty much the very valid point. Because even if they'd made it there on time, what would they have done if they'd found Lorelei? As of when they'd landed, Fitz had still yet to finish his repairs to the collar that could contain Lorelei and her powers. But even if they'd had the collar with them, what would have contained Lorelei's Asgardian physiology? The woman could shred any handcuffs they had at their disposal with a simple tug, and so unless Sif had intended to wrap Lorelei in a bear hug and physically carry her from place to place… how would they have transported her from the hotel back to the Bus? Or contained her long enough to reach a spot where she could be taken back to Asgard?

And that was assuming that Sif could get her hands on the wily Asgardian. After seeing the brunette make short work of the doors, Coulson was keenly aware that there was nothing stopping Lorelei from putting holes in the walls or floor, creating a new escape route any time they managed to corner her. They'd been complacent, Coulson realized to his shame, treating this like any other snatch mission. And if the plan had actually unfolded to the point of contact with the enemy, a lot of innocent people could have lost their lives. Or even worse, been enthralled by Lorelei.

"Tell me something, Son of Coul… for how long did Lorelei and her thrall secure the right to dwell in this delightful room?" Reginna's voice drew Coulson from his self-recrimination, and he furrowed his brow as he racked his brain for an answer to her question. Ultimately, he was forced to offer a helpless shrug; Skye probably knew from her online sleuthing but it hadn't been germane to their planning and so if she'd mentioned it, he hadn't retained it. "Well if they have arranged a stay of any real length with their ill-gotten gains, I doubt the innkeeper will return those funds to you. In which case it would be a terrible shame to let all this go to waste…"

And if he told them no, Coulson wondered, then what? SHIELD had no real way of stopping a pair of superhuman women who could teleport, turn invisible, and do Lord knew what else with their magic. On top of the pure strength and durability that came with being Asgardian, of course. Lorelei had reached Earth via one of Loki's 'secret pathways', which meant Reginna and Amora could return to Asgard at Sif's side before doubling back to be in Vegas by nightfall. Which wasn't to say that he was going to leave them without a minder, but… "I don't see a problem with that. May? Put a call in to the Triskelion. If Miss Rushman is between missions right now, see if they'd be willing to send her out here for a few days."

* * *

><p>"I cannot believe that I am indulging in this sort of… frivolous behavior."<p>

Loki rolled her eyes and sighed as she and Amora tugged Sif along between them, an arm wrapped around each of the brunette's as they led her through the mall. Behind them trailed 'Natalie Rushman' - who was actually Natalia Romanoff, not that she was supposed to know as much - and a handful of plain clothes SHIELD agents, the latter of which were loaded down with shopping bags from what 'Natalie' assured her were very exclusive clothiers. "Maybe if you 'indulged in frivolity' a bit more often, you wouldn't have lost your paramour to a scrawny Midgardian with the social skills of a troll."

Opening her mouth to argue, Sif looked from one side to the other, deflating a bit when she was met with a pair of knowing looks "…as you say. But while that may be true, I fail to see how-"

"Simple. Thor is obviously taken with this realm and its people. But if you learned to combine his old home with his new one… well, how could Jane Foster hope to compete with that?" Amora allowed Sif the time she needed to process that, waiting for the brunette to nod in acceptance before pointing at a particular storefront with her free hand. "Now, if you don't mind? I want to go in there. Given who I was in the last cycle, the idea of an entire store being devoted solely to the sale of apples intrigues me…"

* * *

><p>"Well?"<p>

"They are… surprisingly comfortable." Sif lifted her right foot off the ground, rolling her ankle experimentally as she stared down at the 'Allure Fashion Motorcycle Boot' that the shopkeeper's assistant had brought out. She recognized the word 'motorcycle' from their first attempt at apprehending Lorelei; the loud, two-wheeled conveyances were hard to forget. What these boots had to do with them - or whether or not they were fashionable - Sif had no idea, but they certainly were alluring. Looking up, she found Amora grinning at her smugly and felt the need to amend her previous statement. "For a Midgardian creation, that is."

"Mmhmm."

* * *

><p>Standing in front of the large, brightly lit sign advertising the 'Spearmint Rhino Gentleman's Club', Loki turned to Sif and offered up a hopeful smile as she inclined her head in the direction of the establishment. After hearing several passing mortals make references to gentleman's clubs, she'd asked Natalia for details and the answer had been… intriguing. Definitely unlike anything found in Asgard or Vanaheimr, but not in a bad way. Much to her dismay, though, Sif shook her head sharply before turning and stalking back toward the waiting SHIELD vehicle. "No."<p>

* * *

><p>"Enjoying yourself?"<p>

"Hmm?" Loki shot a quick glance at where Sif was settling into the armchair across from the couch that she was sprawled out on, before her attention was drawn back to the game she was playing on Amora's new tablet. "Actually, I am. Not only do the mortals make their devices remarkably intuitive to use, but their games are addicting. Take this one, _Candy Crush_. On the surface, it's a simple matching game involving six colors of pieces, but-"

The sound of metal scraping against metal made Loki look away from her game again, watching as Sif slowly drew her sword from the back of her shield, leaving the latter resting against the leg of her chair as she lay the sword across her lap. "Fascinating, I assure you. But I have a question for you, Loki."

Eyes widening, Loki licked her lips nervously as her gaze bounced from Sif's impassive face to her sword and back. "…how long have you known, then?"

"As long as the Warriors Three have known, which is to say from the day that 'Reginna' began appearing around the palace at Amora's side." Lifting her sword, Sif pointed it in Loki's direction before closing one eye and peering down its length. After a few seconds, she nodded in satisfaction before returning it to her lap and pulling a sharpening stone out of… somewhere. Loki found herself wondering if the ásynja was gifted with a touch of magic herself; there was no logical explanation for where Sif could have been hiding the thing in the Midgardian attire she was currently wearing. "There is a reason they call my brother 'the All-Seeing', after all."

"…Heimdallr is your brother?"

"Yes."

"But he's got dar… you look nothing alike."

"Amora has blond hair while Lorelei was a redhead."

"That is completely different."

"No it's not."

"Yes it…" Trailing off, Loki took a deep breath and then swung her legs off the side of the couch as she rose into a sitting position. The chances of her taking Sif in a fair fight - especially when she already had her sword out and ready - were somewhere between 'slim' and 'none', but Loki tended not to fight fair as a matter of course. Especially with Amora serving as backup, it would be child's play to… wait. The three of them had been sharing the suite for days now. If Sif wanted her dead, Loki realized, she would be by now. Impaled in her sleep with that vicious sword of Sif's, likely taking Amora with her given how they tended to curl around each other at night. But if Sif didn't want her dead, then what? An arrangement like Coulson's, perhaps? Silence in exchange for services rendered? "What do you wish of me?"

"As I said, I have a question for you. And I wish of you something I doubt you're capable of, daughter of Laufey: the truth."


	4. Asgardreginn

Title: _Asgardreginn  
><em>Author: JoeHundredaire  
><span>Rating:<span> R/FR18  
><span>Disclaimer:<span> With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors - and directors, now that we're getting decent movie and television renditions - actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
><span>Summary:<span> The king is dead. Long live the ki… err, queen.  
><span>Joe's Note:<span> The last installment of this story, at least for now. Maybe we'll revisit them in a year, after _Avengers 2_, _Ant-Man_, _Agent Carter_, and another full season - or rather the back half of Season Two and the front end of Season Three - have been added to _Agents of SHIELD_. Part of the reason this ended up so long was that I had a definite endgame in mind for this little adventure, but stuff just kept shoving its way in between me and that finish line. Hope you enjoyed it.  
><span>Dedications &amp; Thanks:<span> To Nicholas, Alexander, Thomas, Koby, Wil, Tracy, Christopher, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on Patreon, and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

><p>Contrary to the speculation of the ones known as 'Fitz' and 'Simmons', with whom she had chatted thanks to a particularly useful 'app' on Amora's iPad, Loki's new iPod and headphones managed to stay active while inside the Bifröst stream. As she tossed her head back and forth to the beat of one of the many inane pop songs she'd loaded onto it, she mused that it was nice to have a bit of entertainment as the stars flew by. While they'd fascinated her as a child, by now the view was just… well, boring. Lips moving silently as she counted down, she took the necessary step forward at the last second and made a smooth transition from the stream to the intricate golden dome that served as its terminus in Asgard. She inclined her head in greeting to Heimdallr…<p>

…and then stumbled forward as something heavy impacted with her back. Managing to catch herself after a few steps, Loki drew herself up and whirled around, glaring at Sif as the brunette emerged from the Bifröst and sheepishly scooped up the bag full of boots that she'd bought at the Leather Headquarters. Next to emerge was Lorelei, or rather the black bag containing her remains. SHIELD had been rather thoughtful in that regard. Last but certainly not least came Amora in one of her new Emilio Pucci dresses, and then the terrific amounts of energy necessary to keep the bridge open dispersed with a crackle as Heimdallr lifted Hǫfuð from its pedestal. While Heimdallr wasn't much of a conversationalist, Loki did tend to enjoy the wisdom he dispensed when he saw fit and so she shifted all her bags to one hand so she could use the other to pull her headphones off. Instead of wisdom, though, what she received was closer to a reprimand. "You are late."

Before Sif could lay all the blame for that at her feet - even if that technically was the truth - an appropriate quote from one of the Midgardian books she'd read on Amora's iPad popped into Loki's head. "A seiðkona is never late, nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to."

The corner of Heimdallr's mouth momentarily quirked upward at that, making Loki again wonder exact how all-seeing the áss truly was, and then his traditional impassive countenance returned. "What about seiðmaðr?"

Sidling up on Loki's left, Amora let out a low hiss as she dropped her shopping bags, one hand curling into a fist as eldritch energy gathered around it. "He knows?"

Loki's eyebrow inched upward at that. The answer to that was rather obvious, wasn't it? "Yes."

"…and you know he knows?"

…also obvious. "Yes."

"Why didn't I know that he knows? Or that you know he knows?" Letting the magic around her hand dissipate, Amora turned to Loki and put her hands on her hips. "This seems like the sort of thing that I should be aware of."

"Hmm. Probably, yes. To be fair, though, it is a recent development. Me knowing, that is." Loki nodded in Sif's direction, directing Amora's disbelieving gaze over to the brunette. "I only found out from her slightly more than a day ago."

That just seemed to incense Amora further. "Sif knows about you? And that Heimdallr knows?"

Loki rolled her eyes. "They are siblings."

"…they're what?"

"Don't feel bad, that was my reaction as well." Loki turned her head, looking over at Sif as she allowed herself a faint smile. "We sat down to clear the air one night while you were taking a bath, and managed to come to an accord of sorts…"

* * *

><p><em>"As I said, I have a question for you. And I wish of you something I doubt you're capable of, daughter of Laufey: the truth."<em>

_Licking her lips nervously, Loki nodded as she continued to eye Sif's sword. Her mind continued to race, arguing with itself over her fate. Sif could have killed her at any time. Sif was an honorable warrior, and would want to kill her face-to-face rather than stabbing her in her sleep. She could take Sif with her magic. Sif had taken down Lorelei last time. Amora was here to back her up. Amora was in the tub. Loki forced her gaze upward to meet Sif's. "All things considered… I suppose I'll have to do my best."_

_Sif stared into Loki's eyes for several more seconds before nodding decisively. "Very well. I wish to know what happened to the All-Father. Odin, that is. Whenever I ask my brother, he simply responds with 'the king is dead, long live the king'. His loyalty is to whoever sits atop Hliðskjálf. Mine, on the other hand, is to a person. And until my suspicions have been addressed, I have no reason to be loyal to you."_

_"I wish you still trusted me enough to allow me to share my memories, because I fear that believing me will be difficult otherwise… but that is seiðr best cast between friends. Or more. Neither of which we are anymore." Taking a deep breath, Loki leaned back against the couch and braced herself for the inevitable reaction her words would elicit. "Odin is dead, yes. But not by my hand. By his own."_

_Much to her surprise, Sif didn't leap up spouting oaths and recriminations. Or do much of anything, beyond blinking a few times. "Explain."_

_Loki took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing. "While Odin was not always faithful to her, he truly did love Frigg. Her death at the hands of the svartálfar hurt him in a way that all the battles and wars he'd fought before did not. I imagine that Thor and I ending the threat that Malekith posed as he sat idly on his throne only made the pain worse; his wife and queen was gone, and we had robbed him of any chance of seeking vengeance. He remained with us long enough to forgive me and in turn ask for forgiveness, to force me to swear several oaths on my magic, and to watch Thor renounce the throne before joining Frigg. His final illusion lasted long enough for us to give him a funeral with the rest of the fallen einherjar and send him over the falls."_

_"You're right. It is hard for me to believe. But I will admit that I have never been in love, at least to that degree." Obviously expecting an argument from Loki, Sif took a breath before pushing on. "My past with Thor is no secret, nor is the fact that I still care for him. Just as I once cared for you. But Odin and Frigg… they had been together for centuries by the time we were born. Perhaps if Thor and I had been together all this time, only for him to fall in battle against the Chitauri… I might have felt as Odin did. Perhaps not. We'll never know, I suppose."_

_Remarkably insightful for someone whose idea of problem-solving was to hack something up with her sword. Loki hadn't quite understood the decision herself, but given that her only long-term paramour had betrayed her rather than dying? She was willing to admit that she - like Sif - lacked the proper frame of reference. "And before you ask, the oaths were regarding a series of tasks I must accomplish before openly taking the throne. Journey to Jötunheimr to make peace with my kin. Reach an agreement with Hreiðmarr so that Niðavellir will supply us with the weapons we will need to fight the Mad Titan. Travel throughout both Asgard and Vanaheimr to remind myself of who my people are, and visit Midgard to discover who we protect. Seek out Thor, and tell him the truth about his own parentage. Find someone to rule beside me, who is capable of standing up to me when I am wrong. And finally, gather a council of people with different strengths and weaknesses who I trust who will do the same."_

_Various emotions flickered over Sif's face as Loki spoke, chief among them contemplation and then determination. When Loki finally finished, the brunette raised her sword up off her lap and spun it deftly before driving the tip into the floor between her feet. "Let me start by saying that should I discover that anything you've said to me today is false, I will end you. Do you understand?" Loki sniffed and tossed her head before eventually nodding. "Good. Now, you are many things, Loki, but a warrior you are not. You will need one to guide you going forward, and I would be willing to join you in exchange for one boon. Or if you complete one additional task. However you wish to see it."_

_"You assume I want your help."_

_"You would be foolish to refuse it."_

_"…very well. Since everyone else seems to want something of me this day, why not?" Loki furrowed her brow in consternation, trying to figure out what Sif might wish of her. "An uru sword from the forges of Niðavellir that rivals the might of Mjölnir itself?"_

_Much to her surprise, Sif actually looked affronted at the suggestion. "My skills as a warrior speak for themselves; I have no need for a weapon like that. No…" Rising from the chair and carefully skirting around her sword, Sif made her way over to Loki. Placing her left hand beside Loki's shoulder, Sif leaned down and then grabbed a handful of hair, slapping Loki in the face with it. "You will undo your curse and fix this. After four hundred years, I am well and truly sick of seeing someone who is not truly me each time I look in the mirror."_

_Loki let out a sigh of relief; finally, a task that didn't require large amounts of time, put her in mortal peril, or both. Her hands rose to rest on Sif's leather-clad hips as she looked up, offering the woman a coquettish smile. "And if undoing the curse requires the same circumstances as when I cast it?" In response, Sif reached behind her back and drew a dagger that looked like a smaller version of her unique sword. "Not that it does. I was simply curious."_

_"Mmhmm."_

* * *

><p>"…I see." Turning back to Amora, Loki found the blonde staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Amora continued to stare at her for almost a minute, eyes occasionally darting off in Sif's direction, before she finally came to a decision. Scooping up her bags, she stalked over to the brunette and leaned in. "Whatever this 'accord' of yours is, know this: when Loki becomes the All-Mother, I will reign at her side. You will be consort at best… and the left side of the bed will remain mine." Without waiting for a response, she turned and made her way out of Heimdallr's domain, striding off down the road leading to Asgard proper.<p>

Sif turned to Loki, shaking her head in amusement before nodding in the blonde's direction. "She presumes much."

Transferring some of her bags back to her free hand, Loki shrugged. "She simply knows where my tastes lie. Outside of her, of course." Savoring the look of disbelief of Sif's face, Loki closed the distance between them and invaded Sif's personal space, brushing her lips against the ásynja's earlobe. "Come by my chambers tonight and I'll make you a very happy woman."

After taking a step backward to put some room between them, Sif shook her head emphatically… possibly hoping to get her hair to fall into place and cover her blushing cheeks. "…no, Loki."

"So you don't want me to fix your hair anymore?" Loki offered a faint shrug before turning her back on Sif. "Very well then."

While Loki couldn't see the results of her words, she could certainly imagine them: the two spots of color high up on Sif's cheeks growing darker as embarrassment gave way to indignation at being bested verbally yet again, and then… right on cue, Sif stomped her foot petulantly. It was a strange little remnant of her childhood that she could usually suppress… but she and Loki were rather talented at bringing out both the best and worst in each other. "That's not what you were talking about and you know it!"

"Do I?" Loki left Sif sputtering behind her as she made her way toward the chamber's exit. "Oh, and Heimdallr? Could you send one of the guards to deal with what remains of Lorelei? Perhaps Eir and her ilk can find a use for her in death? She certainly never had one in life…"

"As you wish, my queen."

"I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing that."


End file.
